2020 was an unprecedented year. With Covid spread savagely across the world, life has changed for everyone. As an international student study abroad at the University of Washington, my life and learning experience has been totally uprooted. I lost many aspects of my life that once rooted in my routine. Fortunately, I also gain many great things even at this turbulent time. Some of the experiences I gained during the quarantine were even dream come true and life-changing. As 2021 kicked in, I wanna reflect on some of my memorable losses and gains so I get a chance of recognizing what’s truly going in the past few 12 months
Things I have lost in 2020:
Communities
Several of my communities broke down due to the pandemic. I once had a tight-knit dorm community in which I and two other roommate formed strong comradeship. We support each other both in life and in expressing emotion. We prepare goofy birthday parties for each other as surprises. We felt safe to share our joy, sadness, and invulnerability. However, as Covid get worse in Seattle, both of them (who are out-of-state students as well) flew back to their hometown, ended up transferring to their local University, and moved on in their life. I was left alone in the dorm that once felt like a true family.
Besides the loss of my dorm comrades, I also lost a team that I have been enjoyed working with in the past. In the past February, I was elected as the director of Public Relation in my RSO named Technology and Business Association, which specialized in organizing career networking events. However, I wasn't able to effectively perform my duty since having fun and communicate emotions felt harder than ever before when working remotely. Without these crucial aspects of in-person interaction, I and my team weren’t able to feel fulfilled about our work, to deal with conflict effectively, and to express emotions conveniently. Consequently, our team morale falls gradually after a few disappointing events, some unresolved conflicts, and countless suppressed frustrations. I then lost another community that I once truly enjoyed as the pandemic shuts down in-person activities
Learning Opportunities
Without the in-person teaching environment, I felt the value of my education had shrunk drastically. I missed the face-to-face small group discussion that trains my ability to engage with people and express ideas in English. I craved for meeting new people on campus and finding inspiring role models. I longed for asking questions to my instructors and have an engaging discussion about the class topic. Yet Covid took away all of these crucial aspects of learning and my source of knowledge now became a dull screen rather than hundred of interesting faces.
Spontaneous encounters
I like spontaneous conversations with people. I love to chat casually with the cashier when buying a cup of Starbuck Coffee on my way to Kane Hall. I like saying hello to the guy sitting next to me when flying to California and share our travel experience. I like to encounter my previous classmate on University Avenue and talking about our schools and life. Sadly, the isolation brought by Covid not only made these spontaneous encounters nearly impossible but also severely hamper my ability to initiate a conversation in the future.
Musicality
All of my friends knew I am a passionate musician. I had played the drums for more than 5 years and drumming had been more than just a passion, but an identity. I would play music with friends routinely and attend more than 15 concerts in a year. When Covid hits and quarantine starts, I instantly lost all of my access to drumset and concerts. Since I am not able to feel the joy of hitting acoustic drums and get inspired by live concerts, I lost my motivation and dropped my playing routine completely. Right now the pain of losing my passion stings and I desperately want to hear the drum sound again.
Even with tremendous loss, I am beyond grateful for the things I gained in such a turbulent year.
Things I have gain:
Intimacy
Having my girlfriend living close to me during the quarantine gives me the opportunity of spending time developing an intimate relationship. We share frustrations about the pandemic and support each other physically and emotionally. We spending hundreds of hours laughing, playing, arguing, and crying. We worked out many conflicts with empathy and communication. In the absence of many social interactions, we were motivated to invest in the relationship and deliberately create meaningful experiences that facilitate love and trust. Also, getting to know an individual on a deeply personal level helped me reflect on my past experience and know myself better. All that being said, I felt a sense of genuine happiness with my girlfriend and that had been a tremendous asset in dealing with the pandemic.
Major
I was beyond thrilled of being accepted by UW iSchool, a prestigious department that I have dreamed to be part of for half a year. After spending four months working tirelessly on my application material, I finally received an offer from iSchool on May 8th. I was so happy and looking forward to the numerous benefits of being an iSchool student. I get to learn what I want to learn, I get support from amazing faculties and students, and I was one step closer to my career ambition. In such an uncertain time, the acceptance letter infuses me with a huge sense of security by giving me a definite answer to my academic path in my next two years.
Friendship
I was able to keep developing some of my previous friendship and build some new connections amid the pandemic. I kept in touch with my band buddy Chris who I have played music and watch a few concerts with. We have expanded our conversation from music to school, career, and life. I felt super grateful for keeping the connection going and I look forward to see him soon this year. Also, I found new common ground with one of my previous connections. In August last year, I reconnected with Wendell, who I knew since 2016, and discovered we both enjoy building Lego. We then had some fun time building Lego sets and talked about our shared experiences. In the time of limited social interaction, I really appreciate the fun time I had with Chris and Wendell. I can’t wait to have more fun with them once the pandemic is over.
Career preparation
Having fewer social connections gave me some room to work toward my career goal. After decided to focus on software engineer as my short-term career goal, I practiced some relevant technologies, worked on my resumes, and started my job hunting process. In just one month, I was able to create a great resume, sent more than 80 job applications, and got a job interview. I wouldn’t imagine myself doing the same in normal times as I would be busy interact with people and playing music. I am proud of being able to use quarantine time productively and putting effort into my career aspiration.
Last Note
After enumerating my losses and gains, I felt a mixture of emotions going through my mind. Certainly, I am heartbroken about everything that disappears from my life. I truly enjoy my old communities, learning in libraries, playing drums, and meeting with strangers. I often felt a sense of void and emptiness as I missed some integral part of my life and personal identity. I desperately want life to return to normal so I can get the most out of my education and passion. However, I am also beyond thrilled and grateful for what I have gained in 2020. Being able to enter an intimate relationship and get into one of the best information school in the State was things that I longed for a few years. With dual extremes of emotion dangling, I will forever remember the year 2020 as a big emotional rollercoaster.
In the end, write about changes in my life during the pandemic taught me some great lessons. Having acknowledging my losses, I got to cherish what I had more than ever before since this pandemic had taught me that life is uncertain and we could lose precious things at any moment. Realizing I also gained many great experiences out of the pandemic, I knew there is always learning opportunity even with harsh limitations. With these lessons, I am very confident in moving forward to 2021 and starts to reclaim things I have lost.
